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Need Boundaries?

Fall is around the corner, and that always means more time to write!

Setting boundaries has been on my mind a lot lately and I wanted to share a few of my thoughts around this word.

Scroll to the bottom for some boundary coaching questions to consider.

A boundary is a noun that is simply defined as a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line. Verbs that are often used with it are push back, define, establish and overstep.

What has been missed in this cerebral look at the words is how setting boundaries serve us as individuals, both in growing healthy relationships and not engaging in unhealthy relationships.

I was in a conversation with a family member recently about my father and we were examining how we had very different relationships with him. We discovered we had different boundaries with him. They hadn't considered the possibility of telling him what was and was not okay, and I had an opportunity to set very clear boundaries with him. With the boundaries, my relationship flourished with him and we learned a lot about one another and he was emotionally supportive and present for me. Without the boundaries defined, another person had a turbulent and unsupportive relationship with him.

Boundaries set from a place of compassion, care, and love (for yourself and for others) can allow for a relationship to be what is needed and accountability for those boundaries ensures they stay in place.

Yes, this may mean a boundary of limited interaction.

Coaching Questions to Consider:

  • What boundary in your life, at the moment, can you define?

  • What will allow you to be kind to yourself?

  • What can you set as a boundary that will help you grow a stronger relationship at work, maybe with someone else, or even a boundary within yourself that serves your purpose and goal in life?

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